I know 2014 isn't quite over, but it is coming to an end soon... so I thought I would touch on the three things that define my 2014, one good, one bad, one a bit of both.
Let's start with bad...
I'm not going to spend too much time on this one becuase I did a big blog about it already. I have a few heroes in this world... Mick Foley... my Mom and Dad. But I lost one thing year. The funniest man ever in this great world, Robin Williams. Taking his own life... exiting this world early. Extinguishing his own light... sometimes light just can't survive in the pitch black darkness. Still sorely missed, but I'm still carrying on with the good fight...
What about the bit of both...
I officially became a Diabetic this year. Ended up heading to the ER with a Blood Sugar of 997, near diabetic coma levels. It took me about a week or so to drop down to a "normal" level. I've done a decent job at keeping my sugar at those levels, I've only spiked maybe 3 times since I've been sick, I have more issues with my sugar going to low. For those of you that have never experienced either, when my sugar was the 900 range, I wasn't hungry, I couldn't stop drinking(liquids... not alcohol lol), my mouth was so damn dry, I couldn't stop going to the bathroom, when I went to the bathroom my pee smelled like Sugar Puffs cereal(or Smacks, if you like the frog mascot), I couldn't see, I couldn't think. When my sugar drops lower than it should, I get shaky, I can't think, my hands stop working as well as they should, I can barely talk, and my bones felt like they turn to Jell-O... basically I lose the strength to be able to hold my body up. If I had a choice, I wouldn't do either, but I would take my sugar going high than low. The feeling I get from going too low is extremely scary. And there is no real rhyme or reason or warning when it does. It just does. Now where is the good in this? I have done everything I can to change my habits. I've been eating healthier overall, and not only that, I've lost weight. Last I checked, I had lost roughly 35 pounds in 3 months, now I'm 3 belt notches and I would say another 10 pounds down. So, about 45 pounds, 3 belt notches, and below 400 for the first time in quite awhile. I feel good about that. Those changes, along with the support of my friends, my family, my direct co-workers, and my girl... this Diabetic Negative has come with a Healthier Positive.
Now for the good...
Krystle. You have officially been identified. As I said, she is my girl, my love, my sweetheart, my Cara Mia. Someone that gets me... ME. Can you believe that? To be honest, sometimes, I still doubt myself. Those of you who have known me for quite awhile, you know of my theory: nice guys don't finish last, they don't finish the race at all. And all I've ever wanted is to finish one. Now, I can't say that I've finished a race, because I know there is plenty of it left(first real optimistic thing I've said in quite awhile), but I'm happy to say that I have found someone to ride along together. That's right, I'm happy... and note, I said ride along together. Not with me. Not me with her. Together. As equals...
But I do doubt myself with her. Not because she has given me a reason, because she hasn't... because for the longest time, I've been self-defeating... and the fact that I have someone that I can trust by my side... I haven't had that. And so far, I think I've done a pretty damn good job not messing that up.
What I'm saying is this... I've finally found someone that I love... and loves me. Someone that my daughter likes too. Someone makes me happy... yes... me... happy...... and I was seriously losing hope... happy is a better H word anyway.
It still feels so damn weird saying the words "I am happy".
Baby... it's been a wonderful 5 months. 5 months started by taking a huge risk that turned into the best thing that has happened to me in so long. 5 down... many many many to go.
Sometimes it is hard for me to say what I'm thinking or how I am feeling. It gets all tangled up. But on here... nothing gets left out. Love you Cara Mia. I'm one lucky guy.
It was bound to happen sooner or later... I had a good year for once...
So... what does 2015 have in store for me? For once, I'm excited to find out...
~The Master is Out
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