My Birthday Wish

It is all a lie, the world isn't going to end in 2012... it can't, my 2012 has been the worst so far. If that's the case, Earth is set on it's usual course...

Jump with me, will ya?


The Month from Hell is in full swing this year... My aunt went into ICU due to a mesh rupturing. As she was taken out of ICU, cause she was getting better, we were informed by a family member that my great-uncle Jess had passed away that morning, only to find out she meant to say he wasn't doing that well, and he could go at anytime... all this going on and a girl that found ME on a dating site kicked me aside(because she had someone else) and abandoned me when I needed someone the most, all while telling me I was a good guy, and it was her fault...... All of this over the course of 9-10 days...... So, I thought, let's kick the beast in the teeth and tell everyone my unrealistic birthday wishes...... since the day of doom is inching ever so close...... June 6th needs to just disappear off the calendar this year...

So, what about materialistic things? I'd really like an iPad! And it looks like I'm finally getting one, after two years trying to win one. Sure, it might be the iPad 2, but fuck it, it's MUCH better than none. With it, I intend to start a vlog on YouTube, of course posting it on here for all of my readers to see. What else would I like? How about "Devil May Cry HD Collection" for PS3? That would be cool, only if I could find a copy... that fucker is pretty difficult to capture. I got it! What about a bottle of Gentleman Jack single barrel whiskey? Nice and smooth... Money? I'll take cash... who wouldn't? And because I still play Magic: the Gathering, I'd love to get my hands on either an Innistrad fat pack or Avacyn: Restored fat pack...... but lo and behold, Innistrad is 6 months old, and all the Avacyn: Restored sold out here in Columbus before I could even look at a box... my luck......

How about mythical powers? I would love some of those...... I would enjoy getting Ghost Rider's Penance Stare... I know plenty of people who have done me wrong and would love to see their souls burn!! How about Wolverine's healing factor? Sure, I'd love to feel better, but healing from all the times my heart has been shattered, I would kill for that... figuratively speaking, of course. What about Apocalypse? I want to transcend time. I know it's not his power, but damn it, I can rule the world! If we're going with ruling the world, what about the powers of Onslaught? The infinite power of Charles Xavier and the sheer hatred and supremacy of Magneto... yeah, I'll take that...

Now, what about the things I really want for my birthday? I wanna get laid! Not even sure I care who does it(few exceptions), whether it's just to make me happy, just for fun, or just some random reason, I wanna get laid! Maybe even more than once that week and/or day. THAT would be a way to end The Week From Hell, and of course said Month From Hell!

But in all seriousness, I want one intangible this year... if I can't reset 2012 and do it over, I would love to forget.......... Brook......... she was the greatest thing to happen to me in such a long time. I was told over and over and over again to stop looking, and someone would find me. Poof, there she was... right there... found me... and it was amazing to find such a good person...... until she laid it on me that(in summary) I was a good guy, but apparently not good enough not to look through and look past right into someone else's arms......... the phantom feeling! I'm so used it, it's the sole reason I gave up for so long and proudly became The Shadowheart...... and I've tried so hard to lose control... not to hate again...... for so long people made me so sick... I thought maybe she was different.............. BUT I guess I should thank her... she restored my feeling of hope... hadn't had it for awhile......... so what do you think? Should I forgive her? Should I try and forget her completely? Should I be angry?...... My answer? You all know me, I forgive her...... but only to a point...... that's where my anger takes over and says I hope everything goes wrong for her, and the other guy turns out to be an asshole......... why? To prove her wrong...... I don't want to get hurt, but I hope she feels the pain I have since that day...... abandoning me when I needed someone the most, leaving me with no one........ the day before I was going to tell her I had fallen for her completely......... I believe that people should get what they deserve......... if I'm to finally get what I deserve, she will come back to me...... since I know that's not likely, I shall forgive... I shall forget eventually... I shall hope that all will fall......... there, I got it out...... Brook, there is no True Happiness... Happiness is fleeting...... pain, darkness, sorrow... they remind us who and what we truly are, and what the one truth is......... The One Truth: never believe......

I'm tired of being alone... I wish for once I could have someone that actually wants me... that would be asking for WAY too little that would mean SO MUCH to me......

That's my wish every year...

I don't wanna believe, but I am a true believer...

Hope is the greatest expectation, and I'll never learn how to give up...

Please let the chain of disappointment end this year...... even if it's just one year, it would be a change......

I need that............

~The Master is Out