Do You Believe?

I finally have my words back. So here is the blog that I mentioned on my FaceBook. Some of you, pay close attention...... It's hard for me to say how and what I'm feeling sometimes, but when you get me going in a blog, I give everything I'm trying to say...

Jump with me...


2011 has been a horrible year for me, for multiple reasons, main one being that I've was out of work for the first 75% of this year. On top of it, this past Summer, my Grandpa passed away. I did everything I could to pretend that it didn't hurt... and it wasn't too difficult, because he and I never really got along after a certain point. He was one of those people who always had to be right, even if he had to make up something to BE "right"(kinna like my Uncle, his son). But it did. It hurt like hell. Just see him in that coffin, I couldn't handle it. But I never showed it... but it wasn't the hardest part... going over to his house to clean out his old garage(s). Scrap metal, shelves he got from his time working at Arvin's, fishing poles, old pictures, etc, etc, etc. You get the point. I personally got quite a bit of memories from this "adventure". But one stood out.

A hoodie...

My Uncle and I got some old coats of Grandpa's, some that he had barely wore. I'm a big guy, and none of them fit me... none of them except this plain, basic, insulated, grey hoodie. So, of course, I claimed it.

I'm a firm believer of luck, fate, and destiny...even though none of them have been very nice to me, I still believe. Hell, I even keep a bill I found on the ground because I thought it was meant for me to find. Did I mention it was a $2 bill? Finding a $1 or $5 is one thing, but how often do you find a $2 just lying around? I eventually spent it, but it was in there for over a year...... now that I think about, it was after I spent it that luck seemed to change......... I'm getting off track...... back to the hoodie...

I decided to start wearing the hoodie when it got colder(it's Indiana), and because it was something from my Grandpa...... well, I started putting in applications again...... and to much my surprise, one I applied to earlier in the year called me back for an interview... on a Sunday. A Sunday? It ended up being less of an interview and more of a "You're hired!!" meeting...... is it just a coincidence that I got the job after I started wearing the hoodie? I dunno... it seemed to be that way. Was that Grandpa's way of helping me out? If so thanks......

But it was only one moment, right? Well, technically, no. My long time readers know how my luck has been in love... my motto: "Nice guys don't finish last, they don't even finish the race."... well, I met someone... online, yes... Twitter, yes...... but she does live relatively close(if by close you mean within 50ish miles). And she seems like the perfect girl for me. She extremely nice, she designs her own Halloween costumes, she's a big wrestling fan, and she's got a guttermind humor mentality. Wow, right? That's what I thought/think...... It's like luck and fate said "Hey, here is a gift for your good service"......

What do you think I did?

That's right, I fucked up. Not luck, fate, or destiny. Me. I got over-excited. Over-zealous. I got ahead of myself. I let a jolt of light shoot through the shadows... and tried to capture it in a bottle. See... this is what happens when someone who's not used to good things does when he/she/they finally experience it...... After the Hell I went through with "Lady Voldemort", and the mental nightmare I've been walking through since leaving her, I...... I got too excited thinking of a possibility... a chance......... I feel like a doo-doo dunderhead. Yes, I said that...... I wished there was a way I could apologize. Apologize in a way that was at least partially unique...... well, I hope this section here helps...(maybe the whole blogpost)...... I don't know why I do it. I'm trying my best to fix that, but I'm not used to it. I'm not used to anything good... and I over-reacted... I just hope it's not too late... and that a possibility still remains... I'll be good, I promise. I gotta learn patience. Somebody have a dictionary? It's a foreign concept to me. We all have time until it runs out, right? (Need I say more? Cause I'm running out of words again)

Back to the hoodie... do you think I'm reading too much into weird coincidences? You already know my stance, but as always, I'm open to any opinion, theory, or whatever.

If my hoodie really is "spiritually-enhanced", then what's next?

I'm excited to find out, but as I've learned recently, I need to contain myself. Try NOT to get ahead of myself. Maybe, just maybe...

This is not going to be easy...

Wish me luck...(On all of it)
(Insert witty belly laugh here)

Well, I hope this is enough. It's not quite as long as I'm used to, but dammit, I'm tired... and I hope this suffices for a certain person...... well... multiple persons...

Fino alla volta prossima, i miei amici...
Until next time, my friends...

~The Master is Out

Note: I'm going to try and catch up on some movie reviews, and other outlying topics I've wanted to tackle. We will see how well that works out.